je te regarde un moment. why can't you be happy too?

... Because I don't have any control over who I am... and the people I love don't love me the way I am.

je pince mes lèvres ensemble en te fixant, mes larmes qui remontent. why can’t you tell me exactly what’s the problem. who hurt you? i wasn’t the best wife but i was very pregnant, but you still had me, and jake, and our babies; and your shop. what happened, is it not enough anymore?

Tu recules un peu la tête, en réalisant qu'elle ne s'en rend pas compte, qu'elle a un peu contribué. Jake... Jason... Winter... Mads... You? Tu déglutis. For all the times you forced me to include Jake or to like him when all he do, is hurting me... Even if its not on purpose, even if he doesn't realise most of the time... He does? And now that he's friends with my brother, its even worse. It feels like you guys vs me, pretty much all the time... You're all saying i'm a crybaby and you're right, I think I might be. But thats who I am? I don't want to be, but I can't do anything about that... and honestly I don't have the energy to fake it until I make it...Tu l'a regarde quelques secondes, avant de baisser les yeux piur regarder le plancher de nouveau. The day we had a fight... I... I asked for Jason's opinion on Sung working for you... I knew he would get mad, but I did it anyway. I made sure Sung would like me, Yeon would like me, I even gave Sung false hope... I instantly regretted it after, but I did it so it doesn't matter. I don't even have the balls to text them both and cut all ties. I'm... ghosting them.

je tourne mon regard au plafond en t’écoutant. c’est vrai que jake est une personne difficile, mais je le connais assez bien pour savoir qu’il t’aime sûrement plus qu’il aime jason, et pas seulement parce que tu es son beau-frère. je ne peux rien dire par contre sur le cas de jason, il est en effet une personne que je ne comprends pas vraiment mais… winter told me jason blocked your number. je murmure en fixant le plafond. hearing you.. it kind sounds like you’re purposely pushing yourself out. you might be a crybaby but no one is making you leave. the biggest crybaby is probably jake but he’s still around. i complain a lot but i’m still here, jason’s the worst but he’s still gonna get married? you say jake keeps hurting you but he still hangs out with you, he comes when you ask him to… je soupire un peu et ferme les yeux. it’s like you don’t want us.

so you’re just giving up on all of us instead?